


Dark As Midnight, Six Pack Coors Light

by kitsunechikyu



Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: A rework of the barn scene, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Because That Scene With Bo In Ep Seven Fucked Me Up, Coda, Crying, Episode: s01e07 They Lied, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Kissing, Lukas actually apologizing to Philip, Lukas talking about why he is so afraid to come out to his dad, M/M, Philip being a supportive bf, and vice versa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-29
Updated: 2016-11-29
Packaged: 2018-09-02 23:08:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8687062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kitsunechikyu/pseuds/kitsunechikyu
Summary: “How do you know your dad doesn’t want you to be ‘that guy’? Have you ever talked to him about it?” Philip asks suddenly.Lukas feels ice shoot through his veins. “No, but I don’t need to,” he says, memories of his father’s angry face flashing through his mind. “I’ve heard his opinion on it before and it isn’t great.”“Okay, but maybe if you just ease him into the idea, it wouldn’t be so bad. He seems to at least care about you,” Philip tries.“You don’t know him,” Lukas says, running a hand over his face.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is kind of an add on to the barn scene from episode seven. I really want/need them to properly address the boy's abuse, so I did a bit of elaboration on my own. This is my first Eyewitness fic, so I hope I got the characterization down alright. Enjoy!!

Lukas can’t remember ever being this gentle with someone. He’s been in relationships before, sure. He’s kissed and touched and smiled, let Rose go down on him once or twice, but never in his life has he felt as loved as he does now. He isn’t sure he deserves it.

 

Despite the cold that is slowly settling into the barn, Philip’s hands are warm as they trail up Lukas’ arms. His lips are soft and move against the other boy’s in perfect sync. For the first time since the murders, the ever-present knot that has sat in Lukas’ chest is loosening. Philip pulls back slightly and looks at him.

 

“You swear you’re not lying?” he asks.

 

Lukas huffs at the sudden lack of physical contact.

 

“Why would I lie?”

 

Philip shoots him a disbelieving look. His eyebrows draw together and he pouts in a way that makes Lukas smile in exasperation. 

 

“Because that’s all you do,” he points out.

 

Lukas sighs and bites his lip. It’s true. The last few weeks have been nothing but a consistent set of falsifications and fibs that have ultimately done as much damage, if not more, to Philip as they have to himself. He doesn’t blame him for being suspicious. At this point, Lukas isn’t sure he’d believe him either. 

 

“I lie to everybody else. Not to you,” he says, pouring as much sincerity into his words as he can.

 

“You swear?” Philip asks again. 

 

“I swear I broke up with Rose,” Lukas half laughs.

 

Saying it out loud is sort of freeing. It’s like a giant weight is being lifted off his shoulders, but at the same time there is still a bit of a stab in his ribcage when he thinks about what it all means. He is tired of having to hide, but when he pictures his dad’s face from the previous night, he can’t help but worry. An involuntary shudder runs through him.

 

Philip passes his gaze over him once, as if trying to suss out whether Lukas is attempting to pull the wool over his eyes. Apparently, what he finds is satisfactory because soon enough he is running his thumb along the other boy’s collarbone in a comforting gesture.

 

“Are you alright?” he asks.

 

Lukas guffaws at him.

 

“Am I alright?” he says. “Are you? You were the one who nearly got taken away by social services.”

 

Philip gives a sharp shrug. His eyes close a bit and he looks away.

 

“Yeah, I guess. I mean, I’m the one who called them in the first place.”

 

Lukas feels the knot tightening again. That was his fault; the whole situation was. He was the one who pushed Philip to make that decision. If it hadn’t been for his stupid pride none of it would have happened. His throat constricts.

 

“I-I’m sorry Philip. I really am,” he says.

 

Philip nods his head and clutches Lukas’ arm a little harder. 

 

“It’s okay.”

 

“It’s really not.”

 

Lukas looks over at the other boy, who is staring up at him from underneath his eyelashes. He wishes he could kiss away the broken look that is plastered all over his features. He deserves so much more. He’s been treated like shit, by Helen, by the kids at school, and especially by him, yet here he is, snuggled up against Lukas’ side, forgiving him like it’s no big deal. It is a big deal. _It’s huge_.

 

“How do you know your dad doesn’t want you to be ‘that guy’? Have you ever talked to him about it?” Philip asks suddenly.

 

Lukas feels ice shoot through his veins. 

 

“No, but I don’t need to,” he says, memories of his father’s angry face flashing through his mind. “I’ve heard his opinion on it before and it isn’t great.”

 

“Okay, but maybe if you just ease him into the idea, it wouldn’t be so bad. He seems to at least care about you,” Philip tries.

 

“You don’t know him,” Lukas says, running a hand over his face. 

 

He can feel tears pricking the backs of his eyes. He doesn’t want to cry. Not here, not now; not when he finally feels safe and somewhat happy. Philip is looking at him with concern, his fingers tracing small patterns on Lukas’ forearm. 

 

“What don’t I know?” he asks.

 

Lukas lets out a shaky breath and swallows hard. He doesn’t want to spill his guts, but he owes it to the boy sitting next to him to be honest.

 

“He- god Philip. He was so mad last night, you know? After I left your place I stood around outside for like another whole hour because I knew how he was gonna react. He always gets really quiet first, that’s what tips you off. And the liquor was out, god I thought- I thought- He took a step forward and I was sure he was gonna take a swing. I was waiting for it.”

 

The tears are starting to blur his vision, but he refuses to let them fall.

 

“He broke a glass on the kitchen table instead,” he finishes, rather lamely. There’s more to say, but he’s too scared to keep going. He can’t look at Philip, even though he wants to. He’s terrified of what he might find there. Disbelief? Disgust? He settles for staring up at the ceiling.

 

The barn is quiet for a moment. The sound of the wind blowing through the rafters is the only thing keeping it from being totally suffocating. After a beat, Lukas feels Philip’s hand on his face, gently pulling him downward. He leans in and kisses him gingerly and Lukas responds in desperation. All the while Philip’s fingers are stroking his cheek and he’s sure that if the brunet treats him with anymore kindness, he’s going to fall apart.

 

When they pull away, Lukas realizes that he is crying.

 

“How often?” Philip asks.

 

“Not as much anymore. Used to be worse right after my mum died. Now it’s only when he’s really angry with me. If I don’t piss him off, he’s okay.”

 

The sentence feels sour in Lukas’ mouth. Logically, he knows it isn’t how families are supposed to work. Kids shouldn’t be terrified of their parents, but he can’t remember anything different. He loves his dad, he’s just not so sure the older man feels the same.

 

“I’m sorry Lukas,” Philip says, his hands still lingering at the blond’s neck.

 

“It’s whatever, I guess.”

 

“No, no it’s not okay. You don’t deserve that.”

 

Lukas shifts uncomfortably. He doesn’t quite believe that statement.

 

Philip kisses him again, just as softly as the first time. 

 

“I get it, okay?” he says quietly in between pecks. “I’ve been in and out of a few foster homes and not all of them have been great. Some of my mom’s boyfriends have been pretty rough too. It’s okay that you’re scared. But you don’t deserve it, alright? And you shouldn’t have to expect it.”

 

The boys stay with their foreheads touching for a minute, breathing each other in. Eventually Philip backs up and scoots over to his bag. He pulls out two pairs of headphones and hands one set over to Lukas. 

 

“What are we listening to?” the blond asks, still sniffing.

 

“A surprise,” Philip teases. “I made us a playlist.”

 

Lukas’ eyebrows quirk in incredulity, but a small smile makes its way onto his face.

 

“Sweet,” he says.

 

He opens his arms up for Philip and the boy easily cuddles up to him, head resting on his shoulder. The music starts and Lukas presses a kiss to the brunet’s temple, letting himself hope for the first time in forever. The future is scary, but Philip is here, and for now that is good enough.


End file.
